There’s something therapeutic about kicking people out of your life. It’s kind of life affirming in weird, maybe even sadistic way. But it’s wonderful.
I don’t usually consider myself a sadist but I was glad to see the people I pushed out of my life saddened by the fact that I’d kicked them out. But I guess they were more sad to have lost their staying stool.
But it’s cool. I’m no longer underneath anyone. My priorities come first because I’m important. Hooray for self realization!
Me: “Holy crap! It’s ungodly hot here!”
Other people I don’t care about: “It is tropical weather, only!” (In a thick Indian accent)
This is not tropical. This is, what I assume, a mild day in hell would feel like. At a scorching 91°F/33°C at 8 pm I would like to say to the world, “How rude!”
Seriously, mother nature. What do you expect me to accomplish with the weather like this. Come on. There’s no air conditioning here. Give me a break. Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that kit kat bar. Did I mention I want chocolate, too?
Hey! It’s Earth Day! Mother Nature, please make it a little cooler today, mkay?